Practical Tips for Moving to Europe

When my husband and I prepared to move to Europe from America, I intentionally tried to avoid setting expectations. As a result, I arrived with a blank slate and started building my "Portuguese self" from the ground up. I was thinking about this the other day and realized it would've been helpful for me to have known/thought about a few things in advance. So, in case there's anyone out there considering a move to Europe... here's my tips.

1. Look up recipes from scratch
This may seem trivial, but in the midst of culture shock and culture stress, not being able to find pancake syrup or chili powder can be a serious mood-changer. Since being here, I've learned how to make several things from scratch that I had previously bought packaged (tortillas, taco seasoning, pancake mix, syrup, enchilada sauce). I'm convinced it's healthier and most of the time the results are tastier (with the exception of pancake syrup :-/).

2. Seek out Community Groups
I'm convinced that we are created with the need for relationships and community. While it may not be easy to find pre-existing groups, it's way easier to join a group than to start one! For some, websites like meetup.com could be helpful. In our case there aren't any meetup groups in our city. So, I've joined a community band (within the first few months of being here) and we've joined a Crossfit box (yay for being fit and having man-hands from all the callouses). We've found these groups have also pushed us to learn more of the language. Do what you enjoy and find others that like the same thing. Have community! It's healthy and keeps you sane.

3. Plan Ahead for Things you May Need
In some ways the food is very different here. We've noticed the absence of some guilty-pleasure foods like poptarts, cheez-its, Hamburger Helper, and canned green beans. This has probably had a more positive impact on our health than we even realize! I started wandering the aisles of the supermarket during my free time (so there was no urgency for the products) just taking inventory of the ingredients at my disposal and taking note of the ingredients that weren't there. It wasn't just food either. For example, they don't use wash clothes to wash dishes here (they use sponges instead), and they don't offer free plastic bags at the supermarket (you have to come prepared with reusable or buy them at the register).

4. Find Your Clothing Size Before You Need It
I remember thinking that the style here is not much different than in the States. I even googled "Portuguese women" to see if fashion was drastically different. I came to the conclusion that I shouldn't have much problem finding clothes that fit my style and my body. By about the third month, when I was fighting tears in the middle of the 10th store in which I had gone and found NOTHING that I liked or that fit, I realized I had been wrong. I've totally lost track of what size I am by any country's standard... 4, 6, 12, 38? While it seems like a petty issue right now as I sit writing this, it has definitely been one of the more frustrating ones. Get a size comparison chart, take a quiet afternoon, and patiently browse for your size/style. Here's a good site as a reference.

5. Prepare to Show Grace to Yourself and Others
I was told plenty of times that I would likely struggle as my home and new cultures clashed. However, I didn't realize that I would struggle with showing grace and patience to myself. When we arrived, I was confident that my list-making self would continue at the same pace, I fixated on maintaining a clean home, and sleeping past 8:00 was a lazy day.

I've learned (and am continuing to be taught by the Lord) that errands take more time when you're living in a second culture. For example, last week we went to the post office (apparently at the wrong time) and after waiting for an hour gave up and went home because the number of clients had only progressed by 10 and we still lacked another 50. Without a car, we find ourselves in the grocery store more days than not... today will make the fourth day in a row, and meal planning for a week isn't really a viable option. An extra portion of grace is needed to calm my task-oriented self.

By about the fourth or fifth month here, I realized that my desire to always clean something was really driven by my desire to control or produce tangible results. Again, I've prayed for, and God continues to show and give me grace. I still don't like a dirty home, but I've learned that loosening my grip of perfection makes me realize my humanness and exposes my dependence on my God.

Nine months before moving to Europe, I had finished my undergraduate degree. For the four years of university previous to that, I had woken up around 4:30-6:30 pretty much every weekday. I was busy. I was productive. I was successful. Life here looks much different. Due to the culture and the nature of our work, we are often up and with people past midnight. Often times people aren't available to meet in the morning, which means our days have been flip-flopped. Evenings are busy whereas in the States they were our time to relax. Again, I've had to breathe in grace and have given thanks plenty of times for my sweet husband's patience. The Lord continues to teach me that success isn't measured by a full and reliable agenda or tangible results, but by being yielded and obedient to Him.

Take it or leave it, there's some of my tips for transitioning from the States to Europe. Best wishes as you start this adventure for yourself!

A Year's Lessons

Today marks a year of living in Portugal. I can't begin to list all the lessons that God has allowed us to learn... some through tears, others through belly laughs. Last week, we traveled to parts of the country that we had never visited. My in-laws were with us. As they mentioned their observations, it dawned on me that there are many things about Portugal that I never knew before coming here. So, to commemorate one year, here are 8 things (cultural and otherwise) that I never knew before coming to live in Portugal. 
 

A shepherd herding sheep and goats at the highest point in the southern region, the Algarve, with the aid of his puppy.

1. Portugal is smaller than Kentucky
While the Bluegrass state occupies 102,895.05 sq. km., Portugal takes up 92,090. However, the population of Portugal numbers over 6 million more than KY.

 2. Portugal is very diverse
Keep in mind that the area of Portugal is smaller than KY and then try to wrap your mind around the fact that at the same time in summer, it can be mid 80s in the south while parts of the north (where port wine is harvested) the temps reach well over 100. Mountain ranges are separated by planes in the interior. Beyond the physical diversity is that of culture, architecture, history, and industry. It's pretty remarkable. In one city, you can see the remains of a Roman temple to Diana, ancient megaliths, and a small chapel decorated by bones!

The south is characterized by the white wash buildings accented with yellow trim and clay tile roofs.

North of the country in Porto, you'll find bright colored buildings that, at least in appearance are older.

The bone chapel in Évora, a city located in the interior.

3. Portugal produces about 1/2 of the world's supply of cork
Did you know cork is just tree bark? Over the course of decades, a cork tree is harvested to produce all sorts of products including but not exclusive to: umbrellas, shoes, hats, wallets, belts, ties, and our personal favorite... bikini. Our friend affectionately coined the term "corkini" to more accurately describe it.

4. There are rules for naming your children in Portugal
There is an official list of names from which parents are allowed to choose. We've heard it's to avoid naming your kid after a fruit or inventing a new name out of your own imagination. Needless to say that my name didn't make the list since it means "face" in Portuguese. It's impossible to be assumed Portuguese after I introduce myself. Interested to see if your name made the cut? Check out this post I found that has an official list attached at the end. 

5. God teaches you the most outside of your comfort zone
I hate being uncomfortable. I've had to carefully consider what I am praying before the words leave my mouth. I've found that God often answers hard prayers by leading me outside of where I am comfortable thus making me rely more on Him. If a week or month passes and I haven't drawn closer to God, it's often because I haven't left where I felt comfortable. Stepping out is hard. Joining a gym for the first time ever, playing in a community band, and learning to cook foods that you've never heard of before is hard...especially in a second language.

6. Living in a foreign country is draining
There's no other way to say it. A simple to-do list of going to the grocery, post office, and bank could literally take all day. There's not really a time when we are completely in our comfort zone. Language, culture, our ideas of "normalcy"... many factors serve to remind us that we aren't in our "homeland". Six months into our time here, we finally came to the conclusion that living out a normal day here simply requires more energy. This led to a lesson on grace. Grace for myself on days when I feel like my to-do list is constantly growing while my willpower is ever-decreasing. Grace for my sweet, introvert, husband when a busy week of interacting with people leaves him empty of energy come the weekend.

An example of traditional painted tiles, azulejos, in Porto

 7. Be Humble.
This is a lesson still in the process of being taught. However, I'm convinced there's not much that is more humbling than speaking at a kindergarten level. I've definitely learned that I don't know half of what I once thought I knew! More than the book knowledge or cultural acquisition, I've been shown over and over the importance of humility in my spiritual life. The Lord is merciful and gracious to have brought me to this place. I cannot earn the gifts that he has given me, yet He chooses to delight in me! I am humbled when I remember that apart from Him I am nothing (John 15:5). His goodness humbles me and causes me to view Portugal (it's culture and it's people) with more compassion and love.

And I have grown to love Portugal and the Portuguese! I'm convinced that Portugal will always have a special place in my heart. It has become my home, my friend, and my teacher.

Righteous Fear: My New Year's resolution...

"Praise the LORD. Blessed is the man who fears the LORD; who finds great delight in His commands." Psalm 112:1

It's amazing how God teaches us lessons in season-not too soon nor too late. It's especially amazing when you learn a lesson alongside your spouse! Lately, we've both been struck with the idea of what it means to be fearful. After Jacob brought the subject up, it has appeared EVERY day in my Bible reading. When placed in the wrong hands, fear cripples us. It makes us emotionally, physically, and spiritually pull away. It drives us away from truth. However, when we have a strong dose of fear in what is indeed worthy of fear, we are driven toward truth. We are made to be obedient, humble, generous, and faithful when we fear God. So, this year I resolve to fear God completely.

His Worthiness of Fear

The idea of fearing God has always been a puzzle to me. Mostly, because I thought of fear as the reaction to spiders, big storms, or creepy clowns. However, if we think of fear as a strong force that drives us toward (or away from) something it makes total sense to fear the Lord.  The pastor Tim Keller describes fearing God as being controlled by God.  How does the truth of God's word control our lives, dictate our lives, direct our lives?

Knowing the character of God, that He is creator and sovereign over all, brings comfort. But it should also bring deep fear. For example: If God is our Creator and Sustainer, who are we to disobey? Yet we do every day. We shamelessly turn a blind eye to God's power and might as we allow disobedience to drive us rather than the fear of God's righteous wrath. We do not fear because we do not fully understand who God is.

As our Creator, He who knew me in my mother's womb, He has authority over His creation. We should fear. He is the Holy Judge who is the only One who is perfect, who sees our sin, and still loves us. We should fear. He is the victorious Warrior who fights against evil for us, His children, we should fear. We should tremble with fear. He is the Perfect King to whom all of us will have to answer for our disobedience against Him on this earth when our bodies fail us and we are faced with the possibility of eternity separated from everything good. We should fear as we reflect on the price that God paid to rescue us from our sinful selves. As Creator, Judge, Warrior, King, and Rescuer, He is worthy of fear.

This year, my resolution appears simple. However, I'm learning each day what it means to fear God, and sometimes it is anything but simple. What are the benefits? What are the consequences of fearing something less than God? What do I allow to cause fear in my life? Rejection, Failure, Man, etc...? What changes will come as I fear more in that which is worthy of my fear? 

I plan to chart the course as it comes here on the blog. So, if you are interested in being more fearful with me, come back!

Don't You Wanna Thank Someone for This?

The last couple of weeks, I've been singing this song from one of our favorite artists (Don't You Wanna Thank Someone?). I've been reminded how much our human hearts are inclined to give thanks. I think at the core of each of us is the desire to thank the one who gives us something. As we've discussed the meaning of Thanksgiving for a Christian we read James 1:17, "Every good and perfect gift comes from above, coming down from the Father of lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."

So this year we have given thanks to the Giver of all good by having meals in our home, writing out specific things for which we are thankful, and lifting up praise in prayer!

6 Things to Love About Portugal/the Portuguese!

The 19th of this month will make 7 months of residency in this beautiful country. As we meet new people and our accent, clothing, and my blue eyes give us away that we aren't Portuguese, we are asked, "Do you like Portugal?" Well, usually locals ask it more like, "You like Portugal, right?" We smile, nod and respond, "Claro que sim!" or for those still learning Portuguese, "Of course!" And yet I have never taken the time to write down what it is about this country that is so likeable. If you look at the pictures, an outdoors-man or a beach bum will automatically fall in love, but Jacob and I aren't really either of those. When we got here, we purposed in our hearts to seek the welfare of this place trusting that in its welfare, we will find ours (Jeremiah 29:7). Especially on the days when homesickness starts to creep in, it's so helpful to remember the specifics as to why we enjoy this place and people so much. So, here are some things that we love/have come to love here!

1. Descançar: This word means "to relax" and they take it seriously! We've had people cancel meet-ups with us because their day had filled up and they no longer had time to just relax. For the first months this was unfathomable! "In America this would never happen!" I kept chanting in my head. At first it was a derogatory statement, but this thing that used to be a frustration has become a point of admiration. I find myself saying, "In America this would never happen!" with more of a jealousy for those in the states that it would happen. I've come to find out that the Portuguese get it. Take some time to relax. Cancel work in the afternoon and keep your blood pressure down!

2. Passear: This word means "to stroll" but unlike it's meaning in English, it can be by foot, car, bike, whatever. The idea is that you start going without a destination and just see where the winds carry you! Crazy right! This is another one where I had thought negatively at the beginning and now I find myself wandering around aimlessly and ENJOYING IT! I've found these times away from technology and hurriedness a welcome retreat with friends, my husband, or by myself. For example, it was during one of these strolls by the river that I found a huge plot of land that becomes overrun by little crabs during low-tide. I also snapped this pic!

3. Cafe Culture: I like coffee, so this has always been a perk for me! But besides the coffee, there is this idea that it's ok, acceptable, and even encouraged to get together with friends, sit as you sip on a coffee with milk, and discuss life for as many hours as your schedule permits before people start calling to ask if you're still alive. This has led to sometimes 6 hour encounters with friends as I've practiced language and gotten to know them! Again, this would never happen in the states where all of our cups are disposable (none are here) and people are too hurried to sit and get to know others for more than the allotted hour slot that Google Calendar automatically puts in. Que chatice.... what a shame!

4. ATMs/Multibanco: This is sheerly a practical perk of living here! We had no idea that a machine could do so many things! Residence can pay their phone, electric, water, rent, and transfer money to another account in addition to the typical duties of an ATM. This has saved time and energy!

5. Língua: The language here is beautiful and interesting to learn. But we have been humbled as so many here ranging from children to middle-aged people know how to speak multiple languages! One of my Portuguese friends is VERY good at English and speaks hints of Italian, German, and French! Foreign language is taught starting at the earliest ages in elementary school, so it has been humbling as we've relied on children to translate for us!!! It's opened our eyes to the benefit of learning language at a young age and how much we want to instill that in a future family.

6. Família: I know in the South families seem to be close, but I would dare to say that the average "close" family in the states would not qualify as close here. It's common for families here (including grandparents, aunts/uncles, cousins) to eat lunch together even throughout the week. The kids get picked up from school and everyone goes to grandma's house to eat lunch...every day. The concept of baby-sitter is TOTALLY foreign as family is never too far from hand and they are inherently trustworthy, reliable, and eager to hang out with your kids. To our American minds, we first saw this as unhealthy dependency, but now we are once again jealous of it and committed to fostering closeness when we have a family.

Me and a couple of adopted family members getting ready to tour a Moorish castle! History...just another thing to love! 

I feel like there should be a disclaimer to wrap things up. I am proudly American and love American traditions and customs. This holiday season is/is going to be tough being separated from those traditions and what, to us, is normalcy. Also, there are obviously drawbacks to nearly every one of these "perks" just like any cultural tradition (except for maybe the multibanco!:-)). But, there is a lot to learn from other places/cultures. While it's sometimes challenging to look into another culture through unbiased lenses, I'm finding the benefits to be ever-increasing!

Noite das Bruxas (Halloween)

Noite das Bruxas/Night of the Witches/Halloween is not as widely observed here as in the States. Most kids don't dress up, people our age dress up for parties, and forget about putting a costume on your dog... Here's how we spent our evening/night/morning!

First, we were invited to a dinner party with a family and their neighbors. Before eating we decorated pumpkins. Coloring was safer and cleaner than the alternative! A jack-o-lantern is a foreign concept in every way, so it was fun to explain. We talked about how we are kind of like pumpkins turning into jack-o-lanterns because we are all filled with goop (surprise! This doesn't translate!) and God cleans us, and gives us a light and a purpose.

Dinner was complete with hotdog mummies, eggs with "spiders", cookie fingers, and a jello hand!

Between courses, the 4 younger kids went trick or treating around the apartment complex. This isn't a common thing here, but this group has been doing it for multiple years now, and their neighbors were prepared! They got everything from full un-opened bags of candy to packs of doughnuts to money!

After this, we went home to get ready for the second party of the evening. We were picked up at mid-night and got home around 5 the next morning. We didn't go dressed as anything special, but came home looking like zombies... does that count?

An interesting thing that we discovered is that everyone dresses up as something scary/bloody or a witch. This meant my apron didn't count as a costume, which is not as bad as my American friend who dressed up as a hillbilly a couple of years ago and expected people to think it was funny! These little tastes of the culture can be interesting!

Rejoicing in My Daily Bread

We went to a nearby zoo last Friday. One of the more animated exhibits was this one with some obese lemurs. They had seemingly just been fed and a full plate for colorful fruit was sitting against the back wall. Pieces or bread were scattered on the ground and they could have cared less about them... until one of our colleagues reached out like he was going to take a piece for himself. When he saw the threat of someone stealing the bread, one lemur sprung into action and greedily took the piece of bread away for himself.

After a while, he took the bread up to a perch where he continued to try to chew it apart. It didn't take us long to realize that the bread was harder than a rock, judging by the audible thud it made when he threw it to the ground in disappointment.

That morning, I had been reading in Matthew 6 where Jesus recites the Lord's Prayer as a model for His disciples. It struck me that He prayed for the daily bread and not for a week-long feast. Jesus shows us that we should be praying daily and in those prayers we should focus on what we need for that day and not worried about what is coming. It's wise to plan and in the Proverbs and Psalms, planning is highly spoken of. But, the sin comes when we focus too much attention on our needs far in advance!

I'm reminded of the passage in Proverbs 30:8-9, "Remove far from me falsehood and lying; give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with the food that is needful for me, lest I be full and deny You and say, 'Who is the Lord?' or lest I be poor and steal and profane the name of my God." The writer is intentionally praying that he would not be given too much. When we are given everything we ever need in advance of when we need it, we are not taught to rely faithfully on Him. This idea is totally counter-cultural in today's society, and I am sure it would've been in his time as well.

So, that afternoon at the zoo, I made the connection that I am too much like those chunky lemurs. I have the rich blessings that are given new every day (the colorful fruit that was surely fresher than the stale bread), and yet I get jealous when I look around me and see others who have a "success" that I think I need. I join the world in chasing after "stale bread" that offers empty promises and proceed to gnaw on it until I finally give up of exhaustion.

Chapter 6 of Matthew concludes with this, "Do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." We continue in our worries like they will accomplish something. Yet, imagine how your life would be different if you lived like Jesus and committed each day to the Lord trusting in His provision. I could stand to take a step back and look at the daily blessings and provisions of God that are given anew every day rather than worrying about tomorrow (while the blessings of today lose their freshness). From now on, I think I will try to be less like those fat lemurs that we saw last week, and more like Jesus!